The government of Afghanistan is considering a national policy to spray herbicide on its copious illegal poppy crops. The policy, long backed by the Bush administration, finally appears to have enough domestic support to be seriously instituted, which would mean the world's supply of heroin and opium, 80 percent of which originates in the country, could be drastically curbed.“Those vast Afghan poppy fields have gently lulled the world's citizens to sleep long enough. It's time to put an end to their fragrantly alluring somniferous effects,” said Secretary of State Condoleeza Rice adding, “If we don't get to Kabul in time [Vice President Dick] Cheney will never be able to get a new heart, the President will be forever stuck without a brain, and [Defense] Secretary [Robert] Gates won't have the courage to get us out of Iraq.”
“After we have this poppy situation under control we'll turn our attention to curbing the Taliban's army of flying monkeys,” concluded Secretary Rice, who then closed her eyes tightly and began clicking her heels while repeating, “There's no place like Stanford. There's no place like Stanford.”
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