Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Wal-Mart unveils new low-price, store-brand stock

Wal-Mart CEO Lee Scott is expected to reveal the company's newest retail strategy at its annual two-day meeting with investors and analysts underway this week. In a press release on Monday, the usually secretive Mr. Scott threw some light on the giant retailer's plan calling it “a natural extension of our great tradition of cutting costs and shifting the savings on to our consumers.”

“Those of us at Wal-Mart have been working round the clock to expand overambitiously in already retail-saturated domestic sectors, weaken growth in same-store sales, and tarnish our business name through sundry quasi-scandals all so that we can offer the low-to-middle income investor the most competitive retail store stock price on the market,” said Mr. Scott.

“Their efforts appear to be working,” said analyst Graem Charles of J. P. Morgan. “They have already reduced the price of Wal-Mart stock nearly 5 percent since 2000 while their competitor's prices have steadily risen, some over 100%, during the same period.” Mr. Charles expressed confidence that if the current leader in the retail world could just keep sales growth below 2% through the crucial upcoming holiday season they might be able to offer the some of the lowest priced stock anywhere come January of next year.

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