Vatican starts own low-fare airline

In an attempt to bring heavenly fares down to earth for religious pilgrims the Vatican recently announced it has started its own charter airline. The inaugural flight included Italian notables and reporters among the vacationing devout. In a preflight press conference Rev. Cesare Eruita of the Vatican's pilgrimage office reassured passengers that safety features would not be compromised on the budget flights. “In the event of loss of cabin pressure last rites will be administered row by row, illuminated crucifixes guide passengers to the nearest emergency exits, and should a water landing become necessary everyone's seat cushion is embroidered with Matthew 14:22-34,” Father Eruita said. In addition, for those passengers unconcerned by the whole camel-through-the-eye-of-a-needle-thing, a limited amount of roomier first class seating is available complete with padded kneelers.

Initial passenger response has been mixed. First-time pilgrim Dominic Romani complained about shoddy service. “We took off like 45 minutes late, and the complimentary snack was this scrap of stale bread. I mean give me some peanuts at least! Sure the booze was free but it was, like, barely a sip, and they made everyone drink from the same glass. Gross!” Father Eruita stressed that bringing low-cost transportation to holy sites around the world might require some sacrifices. Many passengers, however, seemed reluctant to agree. Sister Maria Colatura's experience was typical. “When they wheeled that tabernacle down the aisle there was absolutely no room to squeeze by. I'm sorry but, God as my witness, I had to go! And the rosary as in-light entertainment?! This airline totally blows.”